Things I've learnt about the French...

So this week saw the start of the mammoth French February holidays which also tied in with Engish Half Term. Thankfully it's not been as busy on the slopes as everyone made out it would be but then maybe we know where to go to avoid the masses. We have a lovely French family staying in the chalet who basically don't want us around other than to make breakfast, clean the cooker and take them places! So it's been a pretty easy work week and I'm very grateful for that as I'm currently stuffed full of a stinky cold and rivalling Rudolph for his job next Christmas!

So things I've learnt about the French:

1 - When on holiday (even a ski holiday) the French do not get up early! Whilst the majority of our guests have been British and very keen to get up and off in the morning to get the best snow of the day, the French couldn't care less what time they make it to the slopes. We've been doing breakfast at 9am (very loosely) with a lift to the slopes at 1015! Craziness!! I did however take advantage of this and took some time to teach the children how make Coke/Mento fountains!

2 - The French know how to make a right royal mess of your cooker! Every morning I have cleaned my cooker and washed the entire contents of the pan cupboard that has made it into the sink. I don't know what they cook but they use a lot of olive oil (I use 1 bottle in 3 weeks - they've used 3 bottles in 1 week!) and make a huge mess in the kitchen.

3 - They cook enough for an army and eat enough for a bunch of mice! Every morning the remnants of the night before's dinner has been left on the hob. This morning, for example, there was enough pasta and salmon for 10, a pressure cooker full of something (I don't know what because I couldn't work out how to open it!) and a large pan of rice from 3 days ago!

4 - The French are terrible and very impatient drivers! Now, whilst I already knew this, today it has been reaffirmed. Whilst waiting for the bus (the safest mode of transport at the moment), a car stopped on the roundabout to pick up an elderly passenger. There was a bit of a faff with which side she should get in and then the door was locked but after roughly 30 seconds she was sorted. Within this time 5 cars were continuously honking their horns at the rudeness of the said car for stopping in their way, shouting out of windows and then some decided to bypass the problem by driving over the roundabout!

When it snows, they also struggle with which side of the road they should drive on and whilst they know it's the right, there's no white line, which obviously causes them much confusion as well as a temporary loss of memory resulting in other road users having to drive precariously close to the edge of the mountain side and constantly getting wingmirrors bashed!

5 - The French can't swim in straight lines! I've taken to swimming at the local sports centre and it's usually a relaxing hour where I can swim at my own pace up and down the lane. Occasionally I have to share, and that's fine as I am polite and let the faster swimmers through. Some seem to think they can fit between two swimmers already passing each other (surprisingly they don't fit!) and some just attempt to swim over the top of you! I particularly enjoy having my feet tickled and water thrown in my face by very 'splashy' swimmers! Today I tried the wider slower lane but that backfired when two young boys who thought they were better than they are got in and proceeded to swim under, over and alongside everyone else. They didin't understand the swim on the right rule and may have had a helping 'push' from several people!

6 - The French Ski like crazy people! There's no accounting for bravado in France. If you say you can and talk the talk then you better get down that hill as fast as you say you can no matter what the conditions, who gets in your way and never mind that you can't stop! Yesterday was rather icy and slippy in places so I was skiing within my not-so-comfortable zone at the edge of the pistes in the softer stuff with crazy Frenchies whizzing past definitely not in control!

7 - The French do not queue. Whether it's in a bakery, at a bus stop, at the ski lifts or in the supermarket, there's no such thing as a queue and the only way to get yourself seen, heard or a seat is with your elbows out and an ability to see that you are the only person there that matters learned directly from the French. Goodbye manners, British politeness and 'after you'!

8 - They know how to make pastries! It's not all bad and after most activities I do enjoy a little trip to the bakery. I believe that so far in Megeve I have sampled at least 4 different patisseries and boulangeries but, believe me, there are many more! My particular favourite is a Croix de Savoie - a delicious bricohe based cross with custard inside the arms of the cross and icing sugar liberally sprinkled over the top. I also like Torsade Chocolat - a brioche twist with custard and chocolate chips and today I tried something I've never seen before, can't remember it's name but it was delicious - a croissant style flaky pastry with custard and berries. There are many more delicious things in a French bakery like Flan, Croissant Amande, Brioche sucre, and all the cakes that Phil likes! I could tell you about each one individually but it may get a little boring for you...

All of this said, I love to be in France and actually a trip back to the UK reminds me that people in the UK are no longer how I thought they were. So for now I'll stick with my Frenchies, with their stinky cheese, love of garlic and lack of manners and enjoy working my way through Megeve's bakeries in my little snow globe!